TOPS Week 10

 I have dreams so big they don't feel like they will ever come to fruition. Anyone else? Occasionally the thought of these dreams/goals seem so out of reach they depress me into an eating spiral. Absolutely ridiculous....

This past week these dreams were my fuel. They fueled my drive towards being healthier. 

A little backstory:

I've always loved hiking. I love just being in the woods and soaking in the trees, dirt, and even the bugs. 

I've never been one to shy away from hard things. Need a piano moved? I'll jump right in. Want to dig up your yard? Throw me a shovel. I've always stepped up to a challenge and wouldn't let it beat me. 

Enter the fall of 2016 when Curt and I both felt God stirring us. We had been "collecting" hiking/camping/backpacking gear for a couple years and doing quite a bit of hiking whenever we could, but never with any goal in mind. 

The fall of 2016 we knew God was creating a desire in us, a sort of longing for the Appalachian Mountains. We didn't know what or why, but we started praying. We weren't giving a ton of head space to it, but we knew God was doing something. We started researching churches in the area that were seeking pastors, etc, trying to discern what might be God's possible plan. 

When my family decided to plan a trip to Gatlinburg for the summer of 2017 I was SO excited. I had wanted to hike on the Appalachian Trail and this might be my chance. Curt and I talked about going out a day or two ahead or staying a couple days later than everyone to do a little hike/overnight somewhere. In typical Curt fashion, he started researching the needed gear and possible places for a hike. 

That Christmas, Curt bought me AWOL's AT Guidebook so we could find just the right spot for our family hike. I could hardly believe it was going to happen. I was going to put my feet on the Appalachian Trail! We also got each other a subscription to Backpacker Magazine that Christmas, but truthfully, I gave him the subscription so I could read it. LOL He really wasn't in to backpacking. His thing has always been canoeing. That previous summer we had gone to the BWCAW for the first time and this summer it was my turn to pick our vacation spot. I was seriously excited.

But then, God was still stirring this restlessness in us. We were still praying. We were still trying to figure out what God wanted from us. We knew he was moving us, we just didn't know to what or where. 

Enter, "The Insanity of Obedience" Bible study. I've written other blog posts about what happened that Sunday afternoon. To this day I'm still in shock and awe. Our lives have never been the same. Curt quit his job, we became homeless, and Disciple was born as he began a 2,000 mile journey.

March 30th we stepped foot on the Appalachian Trail for the first time and my dreams have never been the same. 

There wasn't a single part that I didn't love about backpacking. I LOVE type 2 fun. I love the hurt. I love the pain. I love the stench. I love the dirty, wet, grimy feeling of days in a row hiking.

Why this trip down memory lane?

Because in the last year or 2 I have forgotten. I've forgotten that I can do hard things. I shy away from lifting something that might hurt me. I have craved showers, nice smelling hair, and a cushy bed. 

I've forgotten. 

This last week I've remembered. I've remembered I can do hard. I went to the gym and I ached when I got home. I hurt. I pushed myself and I have been drenched in sweat. 

And it feels oh, so good. 

I have dreams of hiking long trails and it won't happen if I don't get over myself and do the hard.

The scale this week only showed a .2 weight loss. That's ok because what I gained is SO much better. ❤️

Positives this week- Weights at the gym, 6 weeks in a row of losing weight, eating well, drinking more water, involving the kids.

Things to work on- getting supper cooked and eaten before 7:00. We had several days of eating late this week. I also want to work on being ok with being hungry. I won't starve to death and feeling hunger pains is ok.

Hope you all have a great week and I'll be back next Thursday!