Walking With a Kingdom View
I just watched him walk away.
Ugh! This is hard. Of course, I did it to myself. I refused to drive away until the last little bit of him was out of sight and in the dense woods of the Appalachian Mountains, it didn't take long. As he climbed up the mountain I allowed the tears to fall. It wasn't that I had been holding them back by any means, but it was the moment that his yellow cap was no longer in view that I realized, again, how much I would miss seeing him. I just plain like him. He's my best friend.
Drat. I'm crying again...
As I began to drive away I started grappling with the millions of thoughts that came rushing through. So many things need done. I have a house to pack. One child with a dance recital this week. Another that has been begging me to stop by Shiloh on the way home. One kid to get packed up from college for the summer. And the last kid, man, he's going to kill me.
I thought about how many days before we would see Curt again and I began making a mental list of the supplies I would need to keep out of packing boxes in order for our next trip east to happen. It didn't take long until I started pondering the support we have received from so many friends and especially our family.
Which then led to deafening silence we have "heard" from others. This is where the majority of my thoughts remained as I drove the 30 minutes back to our rented cabin.
What made the difference in people's reactions to what God has called us to? After Curt came public with what we had been hit between the eyes with, we sat in amazement as phone calls, private messages, texts, and visits revealed over and over the same theme: "God has been calling me to xxxxxxx and I have been running from it. Seeing you two do this has given me the strength to do xxxxxxx. If you can give up everything and not know what your future is, surely I can xxxxxxx."
Repeatedly. I lost track. At first we would sit and talk about the different stories in wonder and awe, and don't get me wrong, we are still in wonder and awe, but we lost a little bit of the surprise factor after a week or so. It quickly became apparent that God has been calling a lot of people to simple tasks and our one act of obedience, while on a major scale in human terms, is just a simple act of faith that each of us is called to.
No matter the consequences.
Our subsequent consequences?
No employment
No home
No money going towards a future retirement
Uncertainty of a church home
Loss of "trust" amongst people we once called friend
Silence from those we once considered mentors
Our eyes being opened, the veil dropped revealing the hearts of others
We've been humbled by the outpouring of love from some and stunned by the bitterness of others. It has been a journey.
And the silence? Oh, we hear the silence and it doesn't take much to understand what it means.
But here's the deal. I don't even care. Curt does. It breaks him. His heart is so burdened for those that are silent that it almost crippled him. It was breaking his walk with our Creator. He was to the point of being ineffective because he almost could no longer see anything but the silence.
And it had started to destroy him.
All praise and honor and glory to our God.
God lifted Curt up and out of this despair just when I thought it would completely crush him. Just when I thought the weight of carrying the burdens of others was going to rip his heart out and leave him a shriveling mess, God lifted him up and reminded Curt that those are burdens He never intended Curt to carry. God sent Curt on a journey to not just share Jesus with others, but to remind Curt that God is God and there is a world of hurting people that need HIM; and that world is full of lost AND found people.
The Church, as well as, the unchurched.
I am humbled by the greatness of our God. I am in complete AWE of Him. He is GOOD. He is LOVE. He is...
Oh, He is... everything I want to be.
As I watched Curt walk up that mountain this morning, I watched a man with a light step. It was no longer the man he had become recently, with his head low and shoulders full of doubt. This was a man that had remembered who he was, who he is, and who he belonged to. The man that walked away from me at the Holiday Inn in Hiawassee had been replaced. In some ways he was like the man from a few years ago, freshly called into ministry with his eyes only focused on the great things God was going to do through him.
But the man walking up the mountain on this morning had gained some wisdom through the wounds and scars. The man walking away from me learned that he can't force others into obedience. They have to learn that lesson all on their own.
Then, maybe one day, the mountain they have been climbing will reveal the beauty of the view that full surrender to God's will in all things can bring.
In the meantime, may all we say and do grow God's Kingdom with believers that desire a full walk with the King of all kings.
All praise, honor, and glory to Him
Forever and ever
Amen
Ugh! This is hard. Of course, I did it to myself. I refused to drive away until the last little bit of him was out of sight and in the dense woods of the Appalachian Mountains, it didn't take long. As he climbed up the mountain I allowed the tears to fall. It wasn't that I had been holding them back by any means, but it was the moment that his yellow cap was no longer in view that I realized, again, how much I would miss seeing him. I just plain like him. He's my best friend.
Drat. I'm crying again...
As I began to drive away I started grappling with the millions of thoughts that came rushing through. So many things need done. I have a house to pack. One child with a dance recital this week. Another that has been begging me to stop by Shiloh on the way home. One kid to get packed up from college for the summer. And the last kid, man, he's going to kill me.
I thought about how many days before we would see Curt again and I began making a mental list of the supplies I would need to keep out of packing boxes in order for our next trip east to happen. It didn't take long until I started pondering the support we have received from so many friends and especially our family.
Which then led to deafening silence we have "heard" from others. This is where the majority of my thoughts remained as I drove the 30 minutes back to our rented cabin.
What made the difference in people's reactions to what God has called us to? After Curt came public with what we had been hit between the eyes with, we sat in amazement as phone calls, private messages, texts, and visits revealed over and over the same theme: "God has been calling me to xxxxxxx and I have been running from it. Seeing you two do this has given me the strength to do xxxxxxx. If you can give up everything and not know what your future is, surely I can xxxxxxx."
Repeatedly. I lost track. At first we would sit and talk about the different stories in wonder and awe, and don't get me wrong, we are still in wonder and awe, but we lost a little bit of the surprise factor after a week or so. It quickly became apparent that God has been calling a lot of people to simple tasks and our one act of obedience, while on a major scale in human terms, is just a simple act of faith that each of us is called to.
No matter the consequences.
Our subsequent consequences?
No employment
No home
No money going towards a future retirement
Uncertainty of a church home
Loss of "trust" amongst people we once called friend
Silence from those we once considered mentors
Our eyes being opened, the veil dropped revealing the hearts of others
We've been humbled by the outpouring of love from some and stunned by the bitterness of others. It has been a journey.
And the silence? Oh, we hear the silence and it doesn't take much to understand what it means.
But here's the deal. I don't even care. Curt does. It breaks him. His heart is so burdened for those that are silent that it almost crippled him. It was breaking his walk with our Creator. He was to the point of being ineffective because he almost could no longer see anything but the silence.
And it had started to destroy him.
All praise and honor and glory to our God.
God lifted Curt up and out of this despair just when I thought it would completely crush him. Just when I thought the weight of carrying the burdens of others was going to rip his heart out and leave him a shriveling mess, God lifted him up and reminded Curt that those are burdens He never intended Curt to carry. God sent Curt on a journey to not just share Jesus with others, but to remind Curt that God is God and there is a world of hurting people that need HIM; and that world is full of lost AND found people.
The Church, as well as, the unchurched.
I am humbled by the greatness of our God. I am in complete AWE of Him. He is GOOD. He is LOVE. He is...
Oh, He is... everything I want to be.
As I watched Curt walk up that mountain this morning, I watched a man with a light step. It was no longer the man he had become recently, with his head low and shoulders full of doubt. This was a man that had remembered who he was, who he is, and who he belonged to. The man that walked away from me at the Holiday Inn in Hiawassee had been replaced. In some ways he was like the man from a few years ago, freshly called into ministry with his eyes only focused on the great things God was going to do through him.
But the man walking up the mountain on this morning had gained some wisdom through the wounds and scars. The man walking away from me learned that he can't force others into obedience. They have to learn that lesson all on their own.
Then, maybe one day, the mountain they have been climbing will reveal the beauty of the view that full surrender to God's will in all things can bring.
In the meantime, may all we say and do grow God's Kingdom with believers that desire a full walk with the King of all kings.
All praise, honor, and glory to Him
Forever and ever
Amen
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