He's Got the Whole World In His Hands (You can thank me later for having that stuck in your head all day)

This morning I did something I haven't done in almost 12 years. It's funny how I can remember that, I can't remember how much I spent on my last trip to Walmart, but I can remember this. It is random, not at all theological, nor is it rational. However, I have felt the need and desire to do it at least twice in my life (much more when I was younger I am sure) and both times I have received the words I needed to hear.

The first occasion was a cool fall night. I can remember the windows being open and I can remember my tears. It was the middle of the night and Curt and Emily were sound asleep but my brain was busy with its own thoughts. Curt and I were unable to have any more children. We had tried for 3 years to no avail. I was devastated. The events surrounding my pregnancy with Emily were as such that I did not truly appreciate what was happening inside my body. On this night, I was pretty sure God was punishing me for every past sin I had committed (bad theology) and for the lack of appreciation of the gift he had given us (Emily and bad theology again). That night I came down the stairs to our living room to find Curt's giant, and when I say giant I mean large print, NIV study Bible complete with dictionary and maps, giant, Bible on our coffee table.

I was sobbing by this point. I picked up his Bible out of desperation and said to God something along the lines of needing to know His plans and WHY couldn't I have children?!?!? I needed an answer and I KNEW I would find it in His word. I KNEW it. So I randomly, or not so random because after all, I was brought up in church, I know where to turn to find comfort; Psalms, opened his Bible "randomly" to Psalm 127. I went to bed resting easy knowing that if God were to give us more children that they were His to give.

So, this morning I am feeling burdened over several different situations. The weight I am holding on my shoulders feels too much to carry very far. I am in need of feeling my Father's arms around me and knowing He is the one to bring me comfort no matter what the outcomes may be.

I decided to do the ole' "Open the Bible randomly and see what God has to say to me" trick. It's kind of like the magic 8 ball or Ouija board but for Christians ;-)

Except, God is real and He DOES speak through His word and I "randomly" (or not so random as I mentioned earlier because everyone that attends Sunday School knows how to get to the book of Psalms without looking) and before me sat beautiful words of comfort. Psalm 34

I didn't even have to cheat and turn the page to find something that would apply. Is that cool or what?!?! **Not recommended for personal study. Use Bible as directed by reading daily and committing to memory**

I love my God. I love that He gives me reminders of His love for me. I love that through times of distress and heartache He is my rock. He is the One I can lean on.

I do not know the plans He has for me or the ones I love, but I do know this; His plans will always lead to His glory. It will further His kingdom and He has "The Whole World In His Hands". My little bitty section of the world is nothing for Him to control, if I will let Him. Because really, that's what it comes down to. Am I going to let go of my burdens and cares and cast them upon Him or am I going to try carrying the weight alone?

"I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4 HCSB- He didn't deliver me from my problems, He delivered me from my fears.

Take them away, Lord Jesus, take them away.

And use my burdens for Your glory.