Do You Expect Them To Come?
Recently we had the opportunity to attend church somewhere other than our own. This doesn't happen very often, but when it does Curt is as giddy as a school girl. He loves getting to visit places and see what all they are doing. He loves to hear different preachers, he loves to see the facilities, he loves meeting new people, and he loves just seeing how different types of services flow.
Me? Shockingly, not so much, but I love Curt. Therefore whenever we find ourselves with a "free" Sunday, I begrudgingly take his extended hand and walk into the depths of the unknown. It has taken me years of preparation to be able to attend a church I do not know without fear, anxiety & self consciousness. Years. No exaggeration.
So, this particular Sunday we drove towards the church of Curt's choice to attend their morning worship service. Curt had done his research and knew the size of the congregation, the style of music, and the time of their services. He was excited to visit a much larger church within the heart of a city. We knew where the church was located and I was feeling surprisingly calm about attending. I had even done a "drive by" earlier in the week to know where the parking lots were.
The only problem? When we arrived on this sunny Sunday morning, the lots were full. We did a couple of passes around the church before we realized the only parking available was blocks away or right smack dab at the base of the stairs leading into what we assume, might possibly, be the entrance to the church. We weren't sure. You see, the majority of the parking was what would be considered behind the church and we were on the main street going through town with open parking spots on the street, not a lot.
We only had our little people with us on this day and the thought of having to get Caleb out of the truck on the side of a very busy street was unnerving, not to mention the fact that we weren't even sure if this was the entrance to the church or not.
As I put the truck into park, my nervous factor had just increased, significantly. Without even walking into the church building, I had already been delivered two blows. I am now nervous, worried we are at the wrong place to go in and super sensitive to the fact that we don't "belong" to this church.
Strike one
Strike two
As we walk up to the doors, it is opened by a kind gentleman. I, in my now worked up, self conscious state, double checked with him that these were the correct doors to come in. He gave me a look of, "duh" (ok, maybe he didn't think "duh"), handed us a bulletin and affirmed that we were indeed at the correct entrance.
Here is where things went downhill.
We inquired as to whether they had a nursery.
<sigh>
If we had come to church that morning alone, things would have been fine. Well, maybe not fine, but ok. But we didn't, we had children with us. Younger children and that changes everything. In one brief encounter we had gone from visitors to a worship service to experiencing every aspect of this church's Sunday morning program.
He wasn't quite sure where the children go, but he thought it was (hand gesture) in the back.
Strike three
At first we were directed down the stairs. I noticed off in the distance there were paper directional signs. One of the signs said "Preschool Program" and had an arrow directing people through the sanctuary. Assuming the greeter knew better than I, we proceeded down the stairs. The verbal directions we were given went something like this, "Go down the stairs, turn right (hand gestures now) go this way, and then this way and up the stairs at the end and there is the desk."
We never got to the hand gesture part of the directions because after going down the stairs and turning to the right, the lights were out.
Strike four
Back up the stairs we went. As we were inquiring a better way to go, a very kind woman overheard and volunteered to take us to Children's Church.
Through the sanctuary we went, down hallways and stairs, twisting and turning to the point that I wasn't quite sure I would be able to find the kids after service. Not kidding. The path to get to where I was dropping my two babies off was so complicated and long, I was a touch nervous. I knew they would be safe, I trusted the people I didn't even know because of our common bond in Christ, but I was nervous.
We came to a place that Isabel had to be taken up some stairs and Caleb would continue on this odd path. I had to choke back nervous laughter. Curt took Isabel (it was getting very close to service time despite having arrived 25 minutes early) and I continued on with Caleb.
We came to the nursery and the workers there immediately asked me for my pager number. I, of course, did not have one to which they then asked if I had checked Caleb in.
Ummm, no?
Check in where?
Strike five
Back out we went to a cubby hole, hidden down a short hallway.
At the check in desk there was some difficulty finding a pager for a visitor. The nice gentleman working the desk gave me an apologetic mumbling of wishing someone would train him before assigning him to this position and then handed me a pager.
Back into the nursery I went with my three year old. I could tell he was starting to get concerned now. We had just walked a very long distance with people we don't know to a nursery that is completely foreign to him. I pried his fingers from mine, he cautiously walked in, looked back one last time at me and then found some toys of interested. Whew!
The nursery worker smiled at me and started to close the door.
Wait a second!
Don't you want his name? My name? Any information??
Strike six
After giving his name (That was it, first name, nothing else) I met up with Curt. He said we'd have to give the workers upstairs our pager number to get Isabel.
I laughed
They didn't even know our pager number because no information was taken.
Strike seven
I was uptight the rest of the service. I couldn't sing, I couldn't pray, I couldn't focus on the message. It could have been Billy Graham up there at the pulpit and it would have made zero difference to me because everything leading up to the moment of service was so stressful.
Curt says I didn't go into anywhere near enough detail on the difficulty of our visit and he is right, I didn't. I never mentioned the fact that there was a children's award program that morning with kids and people lined up in the hallways, blocking signs and creating detours, making it difficult to get back into the sanctuary. I didn't mention that we ended up squeezed into a pew because family members kept being added to the pew we were sitting in to have a better view of their child being handed the award. I didn't mention that I spent 10 minutes rereading the passage of scripture because my translation was so far off from the preacher's that the lengthy passage being read made no sense without a reread. I also didn't mention the worship leader, while having a gorgeous, beautiful voice, was very hard to sing with because it was obvious that being a soloist was the predominant gifting. And don't get me started on the signs at the nursery door that said only people with pagers and teachers may enter from this point or the sign that said you must press this button to exit (none of which were valid and the lack of credibility made me even more nervous).
Strike, strike, STRIKE.
It was a hard, hard morning.
But, our trip was not in vain. We had an opportunity to learn from this and our takeaway was definitely a lesson on what it is like to be a first time visitor. Here are just a couple things we learned:
1) Signage matters. Marking doors clearly with the word "Entrance" is important. The vast majority of first time guests are not coming for Sunday School. They come to our worship services first. Do they know where to come in to find the sanctuary easily?
2) Greeters matter. Do greeters know where the nursery is and the best, fastest, easiest way to get there? Is there someone available to walk a first time guest to the needed place?
3) Signage matters. Yeah, I know I already mentioned this, but inside a church the signage matters, too. Are signs in places that guests can read them easily? Does the wording match up with what a guest is needing to find? Part of our frustration came from the signs being marked Preschool Programs and not knowing if that meant during worship service times. Also, the wording did not match up with the term "Children's Church" the people we encountered kept using.
4) Procedures. There MUST be a set procedure that is followed for dropping children off on a Sunday morning. This is the biggest service that churches have. If there isn't a procedure parents do not feel comfortable leaving their children.
5) Training. If someone is doing a job, even if it is only for one day, there MUST be training for the position. Greeters should be fully aware of where everything is in the church and where to send people. Nursery workers should know the check in procedure even if they are only in the nursery for one month out of the year. Nursery check in workers should know how to check people in.
6) Expect visitors. If a visitor comes and you don't know what to do with them, they won't be back.
7) Signage matters. Nursery check in desk??? Where? How was I to know? There was not a sign anywhere alerting me to this. So. Frustrating.
I want to encourage you, if you have been attending the same church for any period of time and you have not visited other churches, do so, but don't go alone. Take a little one with you. Go to a church you have never visited, one you don't know anyone else that attends or if you do know someone, it is only an acquaintance. Observe how easy it is to get where you are going. Pay attention to the details of the children's ministry, what are they doing that works, what areas were you apprehensive about, were you ever at a loss for what to do? Then, go back to your church and make the same observations. You'll be shocked at what you notice. View things through eyes of a first time guest.
Ask yourself, can a guest easily maneuver through a morning service here? Would a guest feel welcome?
Or as I learned from this visit, ask yourself, are we even expecting a guest to come?
Me? Shockingly, not so much, but I love Curt. Therefore whenever we find ourselves with a "free" Sunday, I begrudgingly take his extended hand and walk into the depths of the unknown. It has taken me years of preparation to be able to attend a church I do not know without fear, anxiety & self consciousness. Years. No exaggeration.
So, this particular Sunday we drove towards the church of Curt's choice to attend their morning worship service. Curt had done his research and knew the size of the congregation, the style of music, and the time of their services. He was excited to visit a much larger church within the heart of a city. We knew where the church was located and I was feeling surprisingly calm about attending. I had even done a "drive by" earlier in the week to know where the parking lots were.
The only problem? When we arrived on this sunny Sunday morning, the lots were full. We did a couple of passes around the church before we realized the only parking available was blocks away or right smack dab at the base of the stairs leading into what we assume, might possibly, be the entrance to the church. We weren't sure. You see, the majority of the parking was what would be considered behind the church and we were on the main street going through town with open parking spots on the street, not a lot.
We only had our little people with us on this day and the thought of having to get Caleb out of the truck on the side of a very busy street was unnerving, not to mention the fact that we weren't even sure if this was the entrance to the church or not.
As I put the truck into park, my nervous factor had just increased, significantly. Without even walking into the church building, I had already been delivered two blows. I am now nervous, worried we are at the wrong place to go in and super sensitive to the fact that we don't "belong" to this church.
Strike one
Strike two
As we walk up to the doors, it is opened by a kind gentleman. I, in my now worked up, self conscious state, double checked with him that these were the correct doors to come in. He gave me a look of, "duh" (ok, maybe he didn't think "duh"), handed us a bulletin and affirmed that we were indeed at the correct entrance.
Here is where things went downhill.
We inquired as to whether they had a nursery.
<sigh>
If we had come to church that morning alone, things would have been fine. Well, maybe not fine, but ok. But we didn't, we had children with us. Younger children and that changes everything. In one brief encounter we had gone from visitors to a worship service to experiencing every aspect of this church's Sunday morning program.
He wasn't quite sure where the children go, but he thought it was (hand gesture) in the back.
Strike three
At first we were directed down the stairs. I noticed off in the distance there were paper directional signs. One of the signs said "Preschool Program" and had an arrow directing people through the sanctuary. Assuming the greeter knew better than I, we proceeded down the stairs. The verbal directions we were given went something like this, "Go down the stairs, turn right (hand gestures now) go this way, and then this way and up the stairs at the end and there is the desk."
We never got to the hand gesture part of the directions because after going down the stairs and turning to the right, the lights were out.
Strike four
Back up the stairs we went. As we were inquiring a better way to go, a very kind woman overheard and volunteered to take us to Children's Church.
Through the sanctuary we went, down hallways and stairs, twisting and turning to the point that I wasn't quite sure I would be able to find the kids after service. Not kidding. The path to get to where I was dropping my two babies off was so complicated and long, I was a touch nervous. I knew they would be safe, I trusted the people I didn't even know because of our common bond in Christ, but I was nervous.
We came to a place that Isabel had to be taken up some stairs and Caleb would continue on this odd path. I had to choke back nervous laughter. Curt took Isabel (it was getting very close to service time despite having arrived 25 minutes early) and I continued on with Caleb.
We came to the nursery and the workers there immediately asked me for my pager number. I, of course, did not have one to which they then asked if I had checked Caleb in.
Ummm, no?
Check in where?
Strike five
Back out we went to a cubby hole, hidden down a short hallway.
At the check in desk there was some difficulty finding a pager for a visitor. The nice gentleman working the desk gave me an apologetic mumbling of wishing someone would train him before assigning him to this position and then handed me a pager.
Back into the nursery I went with my three year old. I could tell he was starting to get concerned now. We had just walked a very long distance with people we don't know to a nursery that is completely foreign to him. I pried his fingers from mine, he cautiously walked in, looked back one last time at me and then found some toys of interested. Whew!
The nursery worker smiled at me and started to close the door.
Wait a second!
Don't you want his name? My name? Any information??
Strike six
After giving his name (That was it, first name, nothing else) I met up with Curt. He said we'd have to give the workers upstairs our pager number to get Isabel.
I laughed
They didn't even know our pager number because no information was taken.
Strike seven
I was uptight the rest of the service. I couldn't sing, I couldn't pray, I couldn't focus on the message. It could have been Billy Graham up there at the pulpit and it would have made zero difference to me because everything leading up to the moment of service was so stressful.
Curt says I didn't go into anywhere near enough detail on the difficulty of our visit and he is right, I didn't. I never mentioned the fact that there was a children's award program that morning with kids and people lined up in the hallways, blocking signs and creating detours, making it difficult to get back into the sanctuary. I didn't mention that we ended up squeezed into a pew because family members kept being added to the pew we were sitting in to have a better view of their child being handed the award. I didn't mention that I spent 10 minutes rereading the passage of scripture because my translation was so far off from the preacher's that the lengthy passage being read made no sense without a reread. I also didn't mention the worship leader, while having a gorgeous, beautiful voice, was very hard to sing with because it was obvious that being a soloist was the predominant gifting. And don't get me started on the signs at the nursery door that said only people with pagers and teachers may enter from this point or the sign that said you must press this button to exit (none of which were valid and the lack of credibility made me even more nervous).
Strike, strike, STRIKE.
It was a hard, hard morning.
But, our trip was not in vain. We had an opportunity to learn from this and our takeaway was definitely a lesson on what it is like to be a first time visitor. Here are just a couple things we learned:
1) Signage matters. Marking doors clearly with the word "Entrance" is important. The vast majority of first time guests are not coming for Sunday School. They come to our worship services first. Do they know where to come in to find the sanctuary easily?
2) Greeters matter. Do greeters know where the nursery is and the best, fastest, easiest way to get there? Is there someone available to walk a first time guest to the needed place?
3) Signage matters. Yeah, I know I already mentioned this, but inside a church the signage matters, too. Are signs in places that guests can read them easily? Does the wording match up with what a guest is needing to find? Part of our frustration came from the signs being marked Preschool Programs and not knowing if that meant during worship service times. Also, the wording did not match up with the term "Children's Church" the people we encountered kept using.
4) Procedures. There MUST be a set procedure that is followed for dropping children off on a Sunday morning. This is the biggest service that churches have. If there isn't a procedure parents do not feel comfortable leaving their children.
5) Training. If someone is doing a job, even if it is only for one day, there MUST be training for the position. Greeters should be fully aware of where everything is in the church and where to send people. Nursery workers should know the check in procedure even if they are only in the nursery for one month out of the year. Nursery check in workers should know how to check people in.
6) Expect visitors. If a visitor comes and you don't know what to do with them, they won't be back.
7) Signage matters. Nursery check in desk??? Where? How was I to know? There was not a sign anywhere alerting me to this. So. Frustrating.
I want to encourage you, if you have been attending the same church for any period of time and you have not visited other churches, do so, but don't go alone. Take a little one with you. Go to a church you have never visited, one you don't know anyone else that attends or if you do know someone, it is only an acquaintance. Observe how easy it is to get where you are going. Pay attention to the details of the children's ministry, what are they doing that works, what areas were you apprehensive about, were you ever at a loss for what to do? Then, go back to your church and make the same observations. You'll be shocked at what you notice. View things through eyes of a first time guest.
Ask yourself, can a guest easily maneuver through a morning service here? Would a guest feel welcome?
Or as I learned from this visit, ask yourself, are we even expecting a guest to come?
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